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Showing posts from May, 2017

What is (this hippy-sounding Hoopla) Hypnobirthing About?

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It may surprise you to learn that hypnobirthing is not about the PERFECT birth. It is about the BEST birth for you and your baby, whatever that looks like on the day.  It's about believing that knowing is better than not knowing and that that knowledge could make the difference between emerging from birth victorious or broken because KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. It's about believing you have rights to be respected in childbirth, rights to compassion and sensitivity from those caring for you. It's about knowing the value of unwavering support. It's about addressing and releasing anxieties and the freedom that gives you to enjoy your pregnancy and birth to the full.  It's about confidence and control and taking responsibility. It's about your birthing partner just as much as it is about you. It's about stripping back the layers of our culture that has negatively shaped our perception of birth. It's about believing that you deserve something be

R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Woman!!

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It's about time we woke the hell up and started recognising the awesomeness of women. When did that happen? I mean, when was the point at which motherhood became unappreciated in our society? Mothers get appreciated on a personal scale. We all are fully aware that our own mothers shaped who we are in a profound way. For most, if we were born lucky, we were welcomed by the loving arms of our mother who selflessly gave, gave and gave again to us. For the terribly unlucky, the lack of a mother's love has also shaped who we are. We recognise and appreciate on a personal level but what about a societal level? Somehow we have lost our way, perhaps sometime around when it became the norm to be a working mum and "have it all"? We have lost our cultural appreciation of the mother. Yes it takes two to make a baby but actually it is the mother's body that nurtures and allows life. It is her that gives over her body for another ( the first act of selflessness). It is  mir

Poos and Babies

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Did you know the same reflexes are working when we are giving birth and when we are having a poo? THE SAME! And if you think about it a little it actually makes sense.....it is no surprise that a lot of babies are born in the bathroom...some actually right there down the loo bowl bless them! When we need to poo we go to a place where we are unobserved and safe. What happens when your kid starts banging on the door because they have spent 30 seconds without you and cannot cope any longer? Well things don't flow the way they should right? And worse still what would happen if an absolute stranger walked in and started watching you trying to do a shit? And even worse still,  started prodding around down there? Why does my three year old know what the majority in our maternity system don't? In our household we have recently being trying to crack the old toilet training and I was feeling chuffed that my youngest son, Eli was getting dryer by the day and having fewer wet acc

I Hate One Born Every Minute Because......

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So many in the birth world have written about this and as a person with a film and media background I have often considered writing a piece so I have. I think my view can be summed up in this short passage.... I hate  One Born Every Minute  because it represents women to be powerless. Being told when to push, stop pushing, breathe, stop breathing, when they're having a contraction and the list goes on. Most lay on their backs of course, strapped up to unexplained monitors, unable to move. But women are powerful. They are never more powerful than when they are giving birth to a human they created and grew meticulously for near 9 months. And they know when to push, to stop pushing, to breathe, and breathe again and to breathe again because guess what? Humans need oxygen fuck-wits!! They know when to move, to stop moving, when and how to change position. They know all of this...if you give them a chance. ...and you don't need a film and media background to know that shit.

Really??? Does Obstetric Violence have Comedic Value?!

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I recently re-watched Friends with Kids ( Jennifer Westfeldt, 2011) a romantic comedy about two friends choosing to have a baby together because neither of them have met their  "special someone". I first watched it years ago and I had obviously blocked out the birth scene as it was a whole new world of horror for me this time. Typical pregnant- comedy style hospital birth scene where fun is poked at the woman with a birth plan....ha ha isn't it hilarious how women have plans?!! Are you laughing yet? Wait for it.... doctor face-in-vagina tells us baby is crowning and asks for the scissors. Birth partner turns to him and says firmly that mum wants to be back in the dating pool soon and therefore wants to tear naturally rather than be cut. Doctor looks at the birth partner with a raised eyebrow and a dont-be-so-stupid look on his face and proceeds to cut the birthing woman. We know that there has been a battle raging in the U.S for a long time with regards to consent in

Awesome Mama You

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Parenting. Motherhood specifically. It's hard. It's a slog. Magical, creative, beautiful but also chaotic, heart breaking and often lonely. When I became a mum I was overjoyed at finally achieving what I had longed to achieve for years. Since childhood even, I had an ache deep within to become a mother. When I became a mum I lost my old life. I lost myself and I struggled to come to terms with the heavy weight of responsibility for a tiny human that wanted to be literally attached to me and only me, what felt like 24 hours a day. We struggle silently. We feel guilty for feeling this way. Motherhood is selfless right? Wrong. We have to be selfish sometimes in order to be selfless the rest of the time. We need to look after ourselves. Be honest with ourselves. Be honest with our partners. Be honest with our friends. Motherhood is fucking hard. Let's lift each other up not tear each other down or tear ourselves down. In the words of the wonderful Lauren Derrett, we are enou